I completely and wholeheartedly love being a mom. I love everything right down to the complete exhaustion I feel at the end of a very, very long day. I know this sounds crazy, but I try to soak up all the moments I have with my child because I want to remember them for as long as I possibly can. Why, I wonder? Why is motherhood so fulfilling, so satisfying, so completely wonderful? Why do we, as women, get to a point where we want to mother something? Why am I able to push myself as hard as I do and still come home to simply do it all over again and be content with that? It’s because I’m feeding and tending a beautiful garden of life and I get to be a part of watching this garden of loveliness grow into a beautiful young woman. And at some point, if I’ve done my job well, she will enter the world and the world will become a better place because she is in it.
I cherish the thought that every single day I get to teach her, love her, share with her, dream with her and show her how to be the woman I know she can be. It’s not a simple task; it’s complicated and time-consuming, but the reward is so great that its difficult to put it into words. There are times when I feel as if I might have failed her or myself, but then, miraculously, she does something that makes me realize I am indeed doing things right and she is listening.
There really isn’t anything else in this world that gives me the same kind of satisfaction as watching my child exceed at life. I watch her navigate through troublesome teenage dilemmas, learn how to manage her time, pursue her dreams, develop friendships and gain confidence. It’s not easy allowing her to do things on her own, I guess its normal to want to do things for her but I force myself to let her be and let her discover her true abilities and reach her potential. Sometimes she interprets this as my lack of interest in her life but I know deep down I’m doing what needs to be done; making her test her wings so that someday she will fly on her own.
I’m writing this mostly because I’ve been reflecting on motherhood quite a bit in the past week. Someone I love lost a very special mother and my heart is hurting from the inside out. I sat silently and watched closely, through my tears, as each of her children paid tribute to her; their rock, their center. One by one, the memories were recalled as they came together and remembered her strength, her love, her care; they knew, they had each become the people they were today because she was their mother. She gave the world nine of the most beautiful souls on this earth and she was delighted by each one of them every single day of her life.
So tonight, as I recall her sweet face and the love in her eyes every time one of her children called or came to see her, I’m inspired. Inspired to be the kind of mother Cecelia was to her children. The kind of woman who understands the gift she has been given and the responsibility of it all. The kind of woman who counts her blessings and appreciates the goodness of the children she raised and the lives they chose to lead…because she was their mom.
It was as if she was an angel that landed here on earth
Her eyes sparkling with a mischievous light
And her laughter full of mirth
A gentle spirit with a loving firm hand
A wise woman who loved a good man
Who gave her all that he could give
And showed his love in the courageous life he lived
A home full of children and warmth she did bring
Nine smiles and nine faces of happiness ring
Through her love shining in the lives of her nine
Their goodness and success her sweetest wine
An angelic smile and gentle ways
Her love of life, her hope to stay
As strong as she could forever be
To watch it grow, her family tree
She was a mother, first and foremost
Her heart with each one and her voice always close
She will be greatly missed but loved again and again
And all will listen for her wings in the wind.