My Little Princess

I will never forget the day I pushed my cart through the Target Superstore with my little Princess walking beside me.  No, really, my little princess was dressed up in her full-on Disney Princess costume.   She was dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast; the wig, the shoes, the wand (wherever did that thing come from?) the gloves and of course, the tiara.   My little princess could barely keep the oversized princess slippers (mock heels) on her little feet.  However, she managed each step down the aisle with as much grace and dignity as the original Belle that glided onto the movie screen and onto our television three times a week.   My little girl was officially obsessed with being a princess and although she had slept in the costume the night before (with gloves on) and emphatically protested the next morning when I asked her to change into her play clothes, I let her make this decision because it made her feel confident and in charge of her world; and really, what was the harm other than stares and comments at the store, right? 

Now that my little girl, or should I say little princess, is older and faced with more complex decisions, it is evident there are important tools our children require in order to trust their instincts and learn how to make good decisions.  I was asked once, “What do you consider one of the most important pieces of advice for your daughter?”   It did not take long for me to say, “To trust her inner voice”.  

There is an inner voice inside each of us that quietly drives us and our lives.  If we learn to listen closely and carefully, most of the time it will guide us to making the right decisions.  Even in business we are taught to do “the right things, right” and this should overflow into our personal lives as well.  Helping our children learn to listen to their inner voice and make good decisions, perhaps begins with allowing your toddler to wear her loveliest princess dress because inside she felt like a princess and in her own way, wanted the world to see her as she viewed herself, a beautiful princess. 

Children can view the skill of decision making through living in a positive environment; however, teaching children to make good decisions begins with the parent.  Not only are we their example on how to make good decisions, we are also responsible for guiding them through the early decision-making processes and engaging in real conversation about the subject as they get older.   For a younger child, cultivating this process can be as simple as a little give and take.  Allow your child to make a choice that is small at first but offers them control of their world and then you can grow from there.  It can be as minor as choosing their clothes in the morning (unmatched and all) to choosing classes at school or extra-curricular activities, allowing them to find out where their passions begin and end.  These are small first steps but lead to teaching our children how to trust themselves and their inner voice, which as they grow older could potentially keep them from making a devastatingly bad decision.    

The core of a good character is the ability to see right from wrong, good from bad and healthy from unhealthy, something all parents want for their children.  There will be those instances that require insight only a parent can provide and may result in overruling a bad decision.  However, the value of teaching our children to listen to their inner voice in addition to giving them the tools they need to make good decisions, will be enormously beneficial to their lives as they begin to achieve greatness and grow into adulthood.  When we have the ability to feel confident about choices we make, we lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

It is truly a beautiful experience to watch your child make a good decision on their own.  When this happens, you’ll want to celebrate their awesome achievement together.